The Best of Tomorrow

I looked around the room, grabbing the blanket tightly in my hands as I got up. I walked to the wall and touched the poster with my hand…

The poster I had bought and also the album was right here. Next to it was a photo card with a slogan “I love you, Seon-jae.”

Am I back?

I had spent close to a month in the past. Since I was on the bed the moment I opened my eyes, I thought that I might have been lying down like a dead body and sleeping without any contact with anyone.

My family must have thought it was strange that I didn’t contact them. There was likely to be a huge number of missed calls.

I rushed to bed to find my cell phone. I pressed the cell phone button, thinking about how to explain to everyone.

January 1st, XXXX, X-day

I stared blankly at the date. January 1st. 1 o’clock.

It’s only one o’clock here?!

It’s been a while. Was I dreaming the whole time? A very vivid and long dream. But I lived every minute and second diligently 24 hours a day in my dream. That couldn’t be a dream.

I sat down with a frown on my face, thinking about the strange situation. I opened the internet application. My heart was pounding and I couldn’t take my eyes off the cell phone screen.

Ryu Seon-jae was constantly inputted as Woo San-jae, Woo Sa-mit, and Yoo Seon-jae. As my hands were shaking, I pressed the keypad with my thumbs, typing down Seon-jae’s name one by one.

…?

My heart seemed to fall with a thump.

The site was flooded with articles of celebrities who found out Seon-jae’s death.

They were articles of an actor’s visitor, an agency senior’s visitor, and most of the featured pictures shown were all the members of the Potato Pancakes with a grim face.

There was also a close-up picture of Baek In-hyuk’s face, who was crying, holding Seon-jae in his arms.

I dropped the cell phone, no energy.

Is it really a dream?

I couldn’t believe it at all, so I stared blankly at the wall.

I turned on the light of my dark room and went to the bathroom to wash my face. When I saw my watery face in the mirror, my eyes were swollen because I had cried and fell asleep. I slapped my cheeks with my palms. My eyes closed due to the pain.

“It hurts.”

I washed my face, wiped it with a towel and got out of the bathroom. I went to my room, sat on the bed, staring blankly at Seon-jae’s poster.

“I’m sure I had Gamjatang with you just now.”

I raised my hand and stared at my wrist that Seon-jae held. It was too vivid to be a dream. If it wasn’t a dream, did I really come back from the past? I wondered if Seon-jae didn’t believe me.

Anyway, there was no way to check it. I couldn’t even go to Seon-jae’s mortuary and asked him if he and I had Gamjatang at his restaurant.

If I could meet someone so easily, I wouldn’t have seen him perform at a concert, and wouldn’t have been cut off every time he appeared on a music show.

I felt strange looking down at my feet. My heart kept pounding like a never ending sleep. Seon-jae’s eyes, his face, kept growing in my mind.

It’s just a dream! It’s just a dream!

I lifted my head to look up, clenching my fists.

Is he worth losing?

I put on my coat, took my wallet and cell phone, and rushed out. As soon as I went out to the roadside, I reached out for a taxi.

Just by reading the internet articles, I could tell which hospital the mortuary of Seon-jae was set up.

The dark scenery outside passed quickly out the window. My palms started to sweat.

I arrived at the hospital where the mortuary was arranged. It was early in the morning, but there were many people, including reporters and bodyguards. Of course, there was no room for me to enter Seon-jae’s mortuary.

As I wandered around, I squatted on the flowerbed behind the funeral and entered the Instagram of Potato Pancakes. The photo that I commented on was a recent post. It was a photo of Seonjae, wearing a cap and eating a plain yogurt smoothie.

Tears welled up as I looked at his face with a straw in his mouth, my eyes wide open. “Is it a real dream?”

Tears fell on the cell phone screen. I wiped the tears with my sleeve and sniffed.

There were no street lamps nearby and I could sense someone walking on the road in the dark.

I rubbed my eyes… He looked tall and handsome, even in the dark.

I lowered my hand, blinked my eyes, and opened them wide. “Baek In-hyuk!”

Baek In-hyuk, who was wearing a black suit, looked back at me with a blank face.

Baek In-hyuk was right there. I was so surprised and jumped up to stand quickly, Baek In-hyuk turned around as if he were about to go back in.

I ran quickly, grabbed Baek In-hyuk’s arm, and pushed him to look at my face.

“Hey, do you remember me?”

Huh? His face was cold without any expression.

“We ate Gamjatang together at Ryu’s restaurant. Huh?”

Baek In-hyuk, who was looking at my face, pulled out his arm and went into the building. Bodyguards were guarding the door, so I couldn’t follow in.

Baek In-hyuk definitely didn’t know me. Just in case, it’s a miracle that I met Baek In-hyuk like this. Looking at Baek In-hyuk’s face, it seemed more convincing that it was a dream than time travel to the past.

I guess I’m crazy because I’m so sad.

Im-sol!

I left the hospital and headed to the roadside to catch a taxi again.

When I came to the hospital, I couldn’t calm down because my hands were sweaty and my chest was pounding, but my heart felt broken and empty.

My heart ached because of that damn dream. I didn’t lose Seon-jae, but I felt like I lost someone I really knew. I put my head against the window and cried…